The Art of Loneliness

Thoughts while camping with a group of strangers this weekend, with that eerie feeling of sitting in a crowd of hundreds of people and feeling like the loneliest man on Earth.

…Ground Control to Major Tom. Ground control to Major Tom. Take you protein pills and put your helmet on.

I think a lot. It could be about what I’m having for lunch to the eventual end of my life.   I generally have these conversations with myself and not an audience. This is the art of being lonely. Not trusting others enough to engage in any thoughts that escape your brain. Isn’t it odd that we don’t even control idle thoughts but feel embarrassed by them.

People talk to me daily. People that record podcasts and put them out in the world talk to me through my earbuds. I’m maintaining relationships with people I don’t even know.  Although I try to have conversations with real people, most of the time it’s trivial.   I’m good at listening but sharing the deep things, well that’s another category altogether.

I am Major Tom.  Your circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong, can you hear me Major Tom.


20 Years.

Where will we be in 20 years?

I will be 59 years old and most likley still working at this desk job. I will be looking forward to retirement, most likely and thinking of what I can do with 8 extra hours a day. My children will be grown (28 and 26) and hopefully in a job they enjoy. I hope my wife and I have raised them well and taught them all the thingsI wish I had been told growing up.

20 years. The number of things that I can’t comprehend will happen as well. Technology will change and I’m hoping that I can keep up with it. People living on Mars? It’s been talked about. Virtualy Reality, who knows? I can’t even imagine the future and I really don’t want to if I’m being honest.

1996. That was 20 years AGO. No such thing as an iPhone, iPod, iPad. The internet was barely getting it’s start. I wasn’t even able to legally drink…I was only 19 years old! I didn’t think 20 minutes ahead in the future. yet alone 20 years.

Now I think ahead constantly. I know death is closer than it’s even been. I wonder what it will be like as an old man. How will I be thought of as a dad? Husband? Friend? Some of my friends could possibly be dead. I could possibly be dead truthfully.

Time keeps moving along and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. We just need to embrace life and try to limit the number of regrets that will live in our heads. 20 years. Where will you be?

10 Cloverfield Lane

Last night I watched the film, 10 Cloverfield Lane starring John Goodman and Mary Elizabeth Winstead.  The movie is described as Drama, Horror, Mystery on imDb.  The synopsis is this: After getting in a car accident, a woman is held in a shelter with two men, who claim the outside world is affected by a widespread chemical attack.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead plays Michelle, who starts the movie off by running away from a failed relationship.  You don’t get a lot more than that and I suppose it doesn’t really matter.  After being involved in an accident, she wakes up to find herself in the company of Howard played masterfully by John Goodman. She is told that she is being kept there since an ‘attack’ happened outside and the outside air is dangerous. Once she wakes up in a Doomsday Bunker, the movie starts and doesn’t let off the tension.   She is joined by by Emmett played by John Gallagher Jr. and that pretty much rounds out the cast.  This film is definitely a how to guide in Limited Storytelling.

This is going to be a spoiler free review but the movie is really two movies rolled into one.  Without going into much detail, the ending of the movie is on a different landscape than the rest of the film.  The tension inside the bunker is intense and had me on the edge of my seat during many scenes.   John Goodman is outstanding in this role.  He plays a man that is insane but possibly also right about the end of the world.  Each time he was on screen, I was a little terrified myself. The movie asks the question, Would you trust this man in real life?

Mary Elizabeth Winstead is captivating as well. You may remember her from Scott Pilgrim vs The World, where she played Ramona Flowers.   She has a charisma and beauty that really make her pop with each scene.   As Michelle, she delivers a sense of fear and apprehension that stick with the viewer.

Now…the ending.  I don’t want to give anything away but it really let me down.  I had felt a similar feeling while watching a certain film by M. Night Shyamalan.  It doesn’t destroy the movie entirely but takes away from what could have been a Classic film.  This film felt like a J.J. Abrams film and that’s because he was the Producer.  It is actually directed by Dan Trachtenberg, who hasn’t really directed anything prior to this movie.  There was also a Hitchcock vibe to it, especially the beginning of the movie and I enjoyed that immensely.

I would definitely recommend this film, if just for the performances by Goodman and Winstead.  The ending, well I will let you decide on that, but it took a little off the rating for me.  That being said, I will give this film:

4 out of 5 Brews. 

Definitely worth a rental and a film that you will be thinking about after you see it.  Go check it out and enjoy!

Trump vs Clinton: The Tweet Wars.

The tweet heard round the world:

This tweet was sent out by Donald Trump after Hillary Clinton sent one to his account which said, “Delete your account.’

I’m not a Donald Trump fan but his response was too amazing.  Point, Donald Trump.

In the new age of social media, this was bound to happen on a large political scale but on a PRESIDENTIAL LEVEL?  Are these upcoming Presidential debates going to be savage?  I would imagine very savage.  Is this what people want out of their leaders? I hope not.

This is the kind of response I would expect from comedians, actors, athletes, sports analysts, and  shock jocks on the radio.  That’s what we want from them, Entertainment.  I don’t want my President to be entertaining. I want him (or her) to be competent in their job. Do I have faith in either of these two…HELL NO.   Yet this is where we are at today, stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I suppose I just need to continue watching the Tweets and laughing along.  To quote our best President ever, Abraham Lincoln, “I laugh because I must not cry, that is all, that is all.”

Thoughts Inside a Cubicle.

I wish I had thoughts to share but my mind is numb from the fluroscent lights constantly flickering above my head. My fingers are numb from constantly typing letters that aren’t for anyone I know. My taste buds are attacked daily by the terrible coffee that is served down the hall. I talk but a lot of the time it’s to myself since I can’t see anyone around me. I’m surrounded by walls. Physical Walls. Mental Walls.

I can hear the footsteps of my neighbors when they get up to make a trip to the bathroom or maybe to talk to a customer that is upset about spending money.

I’m just counting the hours down until lunch. Then until it’s time to go home. Then until it’s the weekend…and then until lunch…time to go home…weekend. Rinse and Repeat.